HIV tests are more positive than that guy
Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN.
just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
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