i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
Randomize
