I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
he fucked my hip out of place.
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
Randomize
