he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
Randomize
