but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
Randomize
