Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
I should put together a new mom basket for her. It would have diapers, vodka, ambien, and tissues for when she cries about her wasted youth.
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
Randomize
