Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
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