yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
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