I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize
