You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
Ur keys r in ur purse. ur purse is on the couch. ur cigs r on ur front seat. u drank all ur wine. mollie took ur jkt bc u cockblocked her. and in case anyone asks, the saints won 31-17.
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
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