Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
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