i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
Randomize
