That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
Randomize
