I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
Randomize