You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
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