i think my tv is drunk
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
