eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
Randomize