I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
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