she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
It's no shave November. This is our time.
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
PANTIES FOUND
Randomize
