Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
Dear yesterdays makeup, Thank you for always being there when I stay up late binge drinking on weeknights and am running late to work Friday morning. You're the best.
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
Randomize
