first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
Randomize
