who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
Randomize
