Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
I will one day have loud vengeance sex as my revenge against you. Until then I'm just going to sit in the living room playing John Mayer while you're trying to do it.
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
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