There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
Randomize
