He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
Being drunk with magicians is fucking mind blowing. This Asian guy just made a platypus appear and disappear. This is not a drill.
Just woke up to find that I'd left a stove burner on for the past 6 hours or so. I'm now banned from Ambien cooking.
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
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