I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
It was like getting head from an anaconda
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
My crowning drunk achievement from that night was donating $5 to the Obama campaign.
You're perfect
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
Randomize
