Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
Randomize
