he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
Randomize
