Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
Since you didn't call me back last night, I can only assume that in 9 months you're going to have a child that I'm going to refer to as, "Daddy's little mistake in Miami."
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
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