How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
She kept calling me her DD, which I assumed meant designated driver, so I was confused because I don't even have a car. Found out later it means designated dick. It's what her and her friends use as code for the guy they want to hook up with at the end of the night. I feel so used.
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
Randomize
