Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
Welp...herpes.
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
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