So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
Those nachos came to me in a dream
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
Randomize
