D3 body, D1 cock
This is awkward. You have a four minute voicemail from me. I would delete it. I accidently hit your number on speed dial and called you while I was vomiting a mai tai.
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
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