Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
Randomize
