thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Randomize
