So drunk its hurt
yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
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