you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
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