Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
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