I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
Opened my wallet to find a slice of ham with a phone number written on it in sharpie.
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
And then my night got REAL pukey
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
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