i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
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