We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
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