he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
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