You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
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