Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
She said she liked strap-ons.
SHE WAS TALKING ABOUT SHOES, YOU ASSHOLE! YOU'RE THE WORST WINGMAN EVER!
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
Why did u text me "I want to get drunk and go to pizza hut tomorrow. don't let me forget." at 3am??
That text was pretty fucking self-explanatory, man.
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Randomize