Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
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