from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
Randomize
