first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
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