He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
Randomize