No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
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