It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
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