you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
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