The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
