All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
Randomize
