Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
Randomize
