I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
Randomize