just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
If you're ever desperate for a guy's #, ask him to call your lost cell phone so you can find it. Some genius used that on me last night. FML
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
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